I tried my best, I tried even using strategic breaks in between to finish it off but I couldn’t bring myself to read any further than about 100 odd pages. For all practical purposes I have abandoned it. Yes, it is really that bad.
First of I don’t think you could call it a book even if you stretch your imagination by a light year. It doesn’t fall into any known definition of a fictional book: There is no narrative trail, no plot, no characterization or for that matter not even a purpose for this book. The writing is traumatizing when not unbearable. For instance the word nonchalantly is peppered throughout the paragraphs; it makes you feel like you are reading a junior school essay written by a student who has been strongly impressed by the MS word synonym suggestion for the word cool. Personally, I've never come across an Indian or a non Indian for that matter who uses nonchalantly so casually.
The protagonist Robin Varghese is perhaps the most dumb, egotistical, misogynistic, distasteful, character I have ever encountered in a book. I can’t even imagine that such a person exists, forget relating to him. From a watchman who for some reason shooes him away to his colleague who dislikes him everyone is a Bastard to him. In the meantime, he rejoices stealing hotel towels and quietly wanks off (literally!) at who appears to be, according to his admission - the love of his life. God save her really! Frankly, I would like to meet someone who has made an entry in their diary saying they wanked off at their love interest, or perhaps a writer who would deem it fit to use for one of his characters. Utterly disgusting!
The rest of characters, if one can really call them that are vague cardboard sketches that only exist inside the narrator’s mind. There is nothing to suggest that they are or even could be real. Horrible characterization is one thing, being hopeless at research is another. The book doesn’t even get the facts right. Check this:
Uzbekistan isn’t a part of European Union. Neither would European Union bother about industries operating elsewhere nor does EU have a common labour immigration policy! That's basic general knowledge if you expect yourself to use Uzbekistan in your fiction. Further point of interest that we all know here is Uzbekistan is one of the countries where emigration is more of the problem than immigration. It has not yet signed all the conventions of the UN charter on labour immigration . It was famously forced to ratify minimum age of labour last year or the year before. The point being no one gives a damn about labour or immigration in Uzbekistan. (Someone should send a card to the writer and the Penguin editing team). What I continually fail to understand with Indian writers (and bloggers) is why do they try to write about something that they don't know?
Anyway, half way through, I can't think of single thing that is good in it. Clearly it’s been big mistake I picked it up. I’m embarrassed to have read it till wherever I did but I don’t see any other way but to abort it. Sidin Vadukut joins the esteemed Shoba De as my abandoned authors.
Finally, I'm not aware how it's been received in India. I can’t believe one would find it funny by any measure. It’s not my book, I suppose it’s the sort of the book for someone down the street or even down the timezone where people might want to read it and sit around talking how funny they had found it.
As for me, I would like to forget this book, forget I’ve ever tried reading it, so please let’s not talk about it anymore than we already have.
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More about Believer conversations and Masque in the next post. Dork left me a bit embittered and I had to pen down something to take it off my chest.
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Amongst other things , it’s a bit embarrassing to find out that you haven’t read any books by a booker winner at all, one who had been shortlisted at least four times before. Thought of ordering the ‘Finkler Question’ online then thought I’ll just pick it up myself soon.
thanks for the Dork samples. Hadn't seen any.
ReplyDelete>What I continually fail to understand with Indian writers (and bloggers) is why do they try to write about something that they don't know?
Because most of their backscratching readers do not realize that they don't know. It is a widespread Indian problem isn't it? This lack of attention to any sort of detail. Skim the surface and that's it. Ask a why, follow it with a why and before you can even think of a third why the content has withered away into a defense of who wrote it and why it should, therefore, be correct.
As for Dork, I expect someone will make it into a movie, it will make a lot of money and Sidin will write sequels.
I read a pain of few conversations in your comment. I can only sympathise with the discerning of the readers in India, at least you have a choice to evade such conversations. If you were in the same business as these chaps are, it would have been much more painful. Let's just forget this.
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